287,823 notes

averagefairy:

moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC 

94,224 notes

nintendoggystyle:

what beautiful weather outside im gonna close the curtains

198,518 notes
sailorp00n:

Marry me with this

sailorp00n:

Marry me with this

(Source: witch-cakes)

vegeta-bles:

vegeta-bles:

When ur in the dark and can’t find the hole

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147,664 notes

weavemunchers:

"What are your talents?"

Me: 

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81,095 notes

popularboyfriend:

guy:

*slides you $20* pls stop ignoring me

hey look a free $20 bill

111,494 notes
Anonymous:
tell us your most embarrassing story

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

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96,070 notes